Different people use different languages. We Chinese speak Chinese, and, most of us are learning a foreign language. But there is another kind of language we need to know — the language of the body.

    All over the world, people “talk with their hand, with their heads and with their eyes.” When Japanese people meet, they bow. When Indians meet, they put their hands together. What do American and British do? Americans are more informal (不拘小节的) than the British. They like to be friendly. They use first names, they ask questions and they talk easily about themselves. When they sit down, they like to relax in their chairs and make themselves comfortable. British people are more reserved (保守的). They take more time to make friends. They like to know you before they ask your name.

    When British or American people meet someone for the first time, they shake hands. They do not usually shake hands with people they know well. Women sometimes kiss their women friends, and men kiss women friends (on one cheek only). When a man meets a man, he just smiles, and says, “Hello.” Men do not kiss each other, or hold hands. Even fathers and sons do not often kiss each other.

    Kiss crisis, hug horrors and the UK's handshake headaches

    Greeting someone, saying goodbye — these situations fill me with unease. You have a second to make a dangerous decision. One peck (轻吻)? Two pecks? Three? No kisses at all? Why, I think, as I crash into the other person's face, why can't it be as simple as a handshake?

    A survey by the soap company Redox in May showed one in five Brits now feels a handshake is “too formal”, according to the Daily Mail. Some 42 percent said they never shook hands when greeting friends. For one third of people the alternative was a hug, for 16 percent a kiss on the cheek.

    British people are known to be reserved (保守的) — unfriendly, some would say. Handshakes used to work for us because we didn't have to get too close. But the super-British handshake is no longer fashionable. We want to be more like our easygoing Mediterranean neighbors who greet each other with kisses and hugs.

    The trouble is, we still find it a bit awkward. What does a married man do when greeting a married female friend, for example? How should someone younger greet someone older?

    Guys don't tend to kiss one another; my male friends in Britain go for the “manly hug”, taking each other stiffly (不自然地) in one arm and giving a few thumps on the back with words like “Take it easy, yeah?”.

    The biggest questions, if you do decide to kiss, are how many times and which cheek first. Unlike the French, who comfortably deliver three, our cheek-pecks usually end in embarrassed giggling (咯咯笑): “Oh, gosh, sorry, I didn't mean to kiss you on the lips, I never know where to aim for first!”

    But then it's never been easy for us poor, uncomfortable Brits. Even the handshake had its problems: don't shake too hard, but don't hold the other person's hand too limply (无力地) either, and definitely don't go in with sweaty hands.

    Maybe it's better to leave it at a smile and a nod. 

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